Sergie ♥

Well, last night I just met my younger brother, Sergie. At the school,after he had basketball practice. Haa and yes, I was being a cry baby. Really,last time I met him......don't remember...but what I remember is, that day I met him only to take dad's gift from Korea for me. Just about 2 minutes I met him.

I miss sergie so damn much. I don't know why....haaa. Last night we only met about 20 minutes. At first,when I arrived, he was doing evaluation with his basketball team. And it was not possible to bother the evaluation,since it is the important ones. Then I told Asti to leave as well,since it'll be too long if we were waiting for him. But thanks to all of the kindness of my friends, I was permitted to wait for him,since from the first I wanted to meet him properly.

Then, I had chats with him. Soooo many things we talked about. I hug him, hold his arms, giving advices, and a please to not telling mom that I played around with my friends when it's final test periode kkkk. And finally, he said something, something that finally blurred my eyes with tears. Flashback keep on rolling. It's about the rumour about my daddy that'll be mutated again, to Surabaya. Seriously, I really can't take this anymore. I am in a very loneliness, since the break-up and my parents' busyness in Bali. How if I have to face it one more time? Being separated for two more years? Haaah I can't even imagine it. Breaking my heart into pieces. Really.

The time like this, is the very time I need companion when I'm alone in my dorm room. Blinking phone's LED. Lines of chat. I have it no more.

I am broken for more. Can't feel anything anymore since the pieces becoming too small,smaller, and voila!

nothing remains.
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Gila gila gila

gini nih kalo ga ada yang bisa dia ajak ngobrol. Ribut sendiri gue jadinya. Di 2nd acc twitter lah,di blog apalagi haha. Sedih bet cihh gapunya temen huhuh (´ ̯`) mana mau uas lg. Dan ga ada satu materi pun yang udah gue pahami. Parah banget emg nih after uts kmrn dan segala kejadian unik yang menyambangi gue, bikin ga fokus meeeen. Duh bosen.

Terus hari ini gue malah praktikum farfis tadi pagi...haelah. Untung praktikumnya emulsifikasi doang,ga banyak kerjaannya,tp tetep aja bete. Harusnya kan gue bs bangun jam 8....ga kayak mau kuliah biasanya haaah. Bete. Jadi skrg gue ngantuk deh kan /alasan/

Hari ini juga kayaknya mau ketemu amel dan tasya (lagi) dan aning (lagi) hahahaha. Tp masih gangerti deh jadi apa ngga,yasudahlah. Dan pengen banget ke sekolah aaaaaa kangen 78 bgt gilee,makanya mau sok2an ke 78 dengan alasan ngasih casing hp adek gue padahal modus emang pengen aje ke sekolah kkkk kampung lu ca. Tapi lagi-lagi,masih gatau jadi apa nggak. Tiba-tiba hati ini mager, iyaakk hati yang mager hahah kampret.

Dan buat teman-teman yang sudah baca blog gue, makasih ya (terutama dodo yang menganggap dirinya pembaca setia blog gue haha). Kalian tinggal baca aja,oke? Jangan sibuk dikomentarin ke sana sini. Kalo mau komen apapun,itu dbawah ada boxnya kok, monggo dikllik terus diketik deh mau komentar apa,oke ;;)


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"I'm happy!" "Are you?"

"Happy ;

adjective hap·pi·er, hap·pi·est.
1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular

thing: to be happy to see a person.
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure,

contentment, or joy: a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.
3. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky: a happy, fruitful land."

-dictionary.com-

What's your define of "Happy" ? My define of happy is a non-coloured thing, that I made myself.

<i>Why? Why non-coloured thing?</i>

Because on that thing,I can put whatever I pleased of. Anything that are coming from my days. Even maybe those things are just somekind of ridiculous for other people, or even pathetic on their dictionary. At least, that's my happiness.

Quoting Kang Hodong when he was still mastering the Strong Heart show, on an episode of Super Junior Special ; "Love has white colour,but friendship has no colours so it never changes" so? Already agree with my non-coloured things?

If haven't,here I give another example. Painters have their happiness when it comes to empty field of anything, so they can fulfill it with colours that most people don't even understand what it is,but so what, they happy of it.

Still not agree? Then, that's your happiness,of making opinions and not just nodding at all decisions. So proud!

Well,too much non-sense words here. Here it comes the conclusion.

About the old quote of "never looking for a happiness, just make it by yourself" is all just true,or you name it. Because when we start to looking for it, we'll get it,at any soon,but won't last because there'll be another happiness that happier than yours. But when you make it, you'll have that sense of belonging, yes, even in happiness we have that sense. Why? Why belonging sense? Because come on, you make it, it is yours,yours forever. And the point is, you'll be much much much more thankful to God Almighty.

Cliche,eh? But true,indeed.

So,I advice myself just like this every time I put myself into a problem. Happiness just come as it is, not in our define, not in anyone's define. It's just a pure thing that everyone would have just by believing that they can make it.

Plus Ho dong's words. Plus painters' habits. It's not an instantly happened thing, but worth to be doing.

Promise ;)
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Heart of The Matter

"Not that I want you back. Not that I sorry breaking up with you. It's a matter of keeping good relationship between us"

I'm asking Tasya. Why would this happening to me in very minutes to my birthday? Why would this happening when we're almost there to our 2nd year? Why would this happening when I need him the most?

"People change. You change. He changes"

"Things happen just like that,no matter what time it is"

So, there I go. Nodding in sobs, swollen and red-eyed.

We might be now having bad relationship. You might be hating me. I might be hating you. Time will answer,once again.

And I think I don't want to celebrate my birthday this year. Just skip 20. I'll be 21st as well.
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Bye :-)

Really,I wish you two the best. Gue ga akan tahan ngeliat lo terus-terusan sedih kalo sama gue. Gue juga ga akan tahan kalo kalian tertahan dengan adanya gue.

Gue cuma minta kalian baik-baik. Jangan kecewain gue. Jangan kecewain diri kalian masing-masing. Gue cuma manusia biasa kok,basic instinct gue adalah mencari hal yg benar buat gue. Dan kebenaran itu adalah,gue harus get off. Benar-benar minggir dari kehidupan kalian.

Gue ga akan lagi ganggu kalian. Sama sekali. It was my last attempt, to prove rights.

I wish you guys really the best. gue cuma minta untuk cepat jadian ya,biar gue ga capek hati terus. Oke. And last,

I love you.
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Technology....come to Mama

Oke oke,gue tau gue norak baru memanfaatkan push-mail bb gue buat posting di blog hari begini. Tapi emang sekarang-sekarang ini yang lagi butuh ngeblog,killing time fufufu.

Ohiya,gue paham sih udah ga ada lagi yang baca blog gue,segimanapun gue usaha menyindir (eheeyy) atau ngomongin orang (eeehhhheeeeeyyyy) terang-terangan lewat blog begini, ga bakal ada yang notice juga. Padahal lagi pengen berantem banget nih qaqa huhu gila ga gue. Tapi seriusan,gue bosen banget. Butuh twist hidup yang menyenangkan. Ke kampus sono aja apanih gue sama tasya, buat merealisasikan keinginan dia liat gue berantem kkkk. Kampung ca ah.

Sesungguhnya gue lagi butuh teman berdebat. Tentang banyak hal yang lagi terjadi di dunia ini. Sukhoi kek, FPI kek, Gaga kek, Guru Ngaji dibunuh kek, Tiket kereta bisa dipesen 3 bulan sebelumnya kek, ape aje dah pokoknya. Dan terutama gue lagi pengen banget ngebahas buku Supernova yang baru gue baca ini. Tapi ga ada orang yang bisa gue ajak omongin hal itu semua in a time, dan bisa dilanjutkan untuk hari-hari berikutnya hufffhhh. Bisa gila nih gue nyimpen semua hal di otak tanpa ada yang bisa diajak ngobrolin. Mungkin mas yang diujung sana mau? Kkk ;)

Daaan yak, gue ga nonton I AM. saudara-saudara.....hah. Soalnya pas tiketnya dijual gue bener2 lg broke bgt abis nonton SS4 itu,duit gue abis-abisan fangirling buat SS4.....dan lupa masih ada I AM. yang bakal tayang Meinya hafuh. Tapi melihat tabiatnya SM Ent. gue 99,99999....% yakin itu film bakal dijadiin dvd,kaosnya aja ada yg official, dvd juga pasti ada. Dan tentunya dengan harga selangit,mungkin more than 400k idr, idk jg sih cuma perkiraan aja,wong kaosnya aja masa dijual disini (udah sm shipping dr korea) 390k idr, apalagi filmnya ya ga. Tapi gue sudah berjanji untuk menabung dan membelinya yeaahhh. Doakan aku berhasil ya \(--,)

Oh iya, gue kepikiran buat nulis continouos fiction story nih disini hmm. Mungkin nanti deh ya kelar UAS. Abis baca novel bagus begini nih urusannya, passion untuk nulis kembali muncul dengan berapi-api kkkk.

Bye bye fella :-)
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mian

okay okay, i'm such raping my blog nowadays. typing bad things. telling my gloomy days and else worse. but i think this is so much better than when I try to reveal it on twitter. soooo fuckin hard with the 140 char space, so I'll be spazzing over like foolish tsk. so, please mind my writings. i'll soon write some things good and worth to read :-)

#nowplaying No Other-Super Junior

Halo lo!

Hahaha. Gue cm mau menjelaskan hal-hal yg gabisa gue jelasin lewat bbm,apalagi dengan ending chat kayak kemaren2 itu kkk. Sebenernya udh lumayan kebantu lho ga ada chat hampir 3 hari,for I know that you really have moved,tp in the name of pengen ngobrol aja,ya sudah gue berusaha stay still (padahal di kosan udah guling-guling getok2 laptop nyeheheh).

For you to know, gue menjaga perasaan gue. Gue harus berprinsip,gaboleh goyah sm chat-chat lucu dan ngangenin kyk gitu. Kembali lagi, semua buat lo kok hehe. Kalo gue terus-terusan ngarep dan lo jatohnya jd kesian buat apa gue berkorban,ya ga? Kalo akhirnya kita sama-sama lagi tanpa lo ngerasain cerita baru, gue cuma akan kebayang sama ketidakmampuan gue untuk berada disana setiap saat buat lo. Kebayang sama kalimat lo yg bilang kalo kita kayak gini karena jarang bahkan hampir tidak pernah ketemu.

Dulu, mungkin dulu lo sanggup dan mampu,tp dulu tetep aja dulu, ga akan keulang di masa sekarang maupun masa depan. Cuma akan terjadi lagi tapi dengan packaging lain,entah lebih baik atau lebih buruk. Dan gue sekarang udh berhenti membahas hal yg udah lewat, terlebih menagih hal-hal yang tinggal di masa lalu. Gue harus bisa realistis, just like you. And nothing hurts.

Dan yang gue yakin, lo mampu punya cewek yg setelannya sesuai sama keinginan lo, pasti. Tapi gue cuma mau ngingetin, cari cewek baik-baik, yg ga macem-macem dan overall harus jauh lebih baik dr gue. Jangan mau dibutain sama keinginan-keinginan yg sifatnya temporary. Ga pake ya jadian sama cewek yg gampang kanan kiri depan belakang gandeng sana sini, serep sana serep sini, you deserve more than that.

Ini ga berarti gue akan mengacuhkan lo ya, sama sekali enggak. Hampir 4 tahun kita mengenal satu sama lain, segala perasaan gue buat lo juga ngebangunnya ga singkat,ngejaganya juga gitu. Bahkan sampe skrg terus dijaga. Jadi, anytime anywhere any-ape-kek-suka-suka-lu kalo lo butuh, tinggal bbm dan virrisya akan jadi superman yang duduk manis mendengarkan dan menolong jika dibutuhkan hahaha. Kaaay ;-)


ohiya kalo-kalo gue nyebelin gitu, yaudahlah ya maap-maap nih heheheh. cepet jadian ya biar gue ilfeel, ga maenan sama cowok orang soalnya ^^v

Selamat malam. Selamat tidur.

ribut bener ribuuut

yang tidak berkepentingan ngga usah ikut-ikutan ya. gue aja udah sign out, masa iya lu pade masih sibuk kkkk dasar anak-anak norak pendidikan rendah ciiwwhh~

this is how I talk to people, and my people already get used to this. who are you guys? nothing but strangers. oh oops, you're even just nothing. nothing :-)

FUCK YOU,WHORE(S)~~